Caterpillar and his thoughts

if u say to hrshikesh, u are dumb, he will be angry. he will hold a grudge against u because he knows he isnt really dumb. he will play smart, be good on the outside, and plot well to pay back the insult. he will surely pay it back with interest and make sure that u never again dare to insult him. if u did it publicly, u can be sure that u will never again dare to insult anyone at all, after he is thru with u.

if u say to madhav, u are dumb, he will be upset. he will not like that u called him dumb because he feels he isnt really dumb. he will think hard, try to find what made u think he's dumb. was it plain joke? was it malice? did u want to insult him on purpose? or has he really done something that makes him look like a dumbo? if yes, was it really a wrong thing to do or ppl think it was dumb because they dnt know anything abt it? how shud he react? shud he let go, or shud he explain? or does he need to take some strong action? he will think it thru, and act accordingly. usually when he really thinks things so thoroughly, he realises there's nothing much really, to bother doing anything. there's no need to waste time, energy and resources on plotting revenge or teaching lessons. yes, he definitely draws a line and if u crossed it, he will make u realise it soon enuf. but thats that. he usually uses his energy to explore himself.

why am i writing this? because i felt like. thinking isnt bad or waste of time. in fact, for those who think well, its a great tool. i know my caterpillar well enuf. and i owe him a lot because he taught me so many little little things that matter in this struggle to become a butterfly.

i was hugely proud because i thought i am good at introspection. my caterpillar makes me realise i dnt know the start or the end of whats introspection.

why did i mention hrshikesh? oh, for 99% 'acquired' human tendancies, he turns out to be the best and easily understandable example. by acquired i mean those which are thought indispensible in today's immoral and unethical world. btw, how much success is success? thats a tough one, but i guess u end up sacrificing all ur genuine smiles. i want my caterpillar to smile and i know he wants to smile as well.

why did i mention madhav? because i am hopeless. i will keep mentioning him time and again. there are many dilemmas, and there are many ways to come out of them. but u have to know how to make choices. btw, how choosy a choice can be? easy enuf, as long as u're choosing urself. i mean, really urself. now, thats tough. but once u get it, u dnt bother what u're sacrificing for it. someday my caterpillar will realise this. he will be a butterfly then.

in the meanwhile, my caterpillar continues to be a great teacher. and very humble, too.

PS: the names hrshikesh and madhav are not indicative of the personalities (anyone will realise it easily enuf if he tries to reconcile the names with the personalities described). they refer to the persons i've described here. pls do not try to find anything in names.